Lost

I was in a bookstore yesterday killing time a noticed that there are an awful lot of books on figuring out what to do with your life. That is not a problem for me, I know exactly what I want to do. My problem is translating it into something that I can support myself from. I know that I can make a living as an artist and writer and understand that it takes time and work to get there, but I am frustrated. I’ve continued to work part-time in my previous field to help pay the bills but wonder if I just need to make a break and fully commit to being an artist and writer full-time. I feel like I am leading dual lives; when I am making art and writing, I am my authentic self, and when I am at my part-time job, I am a robot going through the motions. The day job isn’t contributing anything to my well-being and bliss other than money and it feels like it is coming at a big cost.

I could quit my job and add it to the growing list of jobs I have quit. I have a supportive husband who would probably be fine with that but then most of the financial pressure would be on him, and that would make me dependent and that’s a really hard one for me.

So today I don’t have any answers or sage advice, I’m lost and hoping to get out of this maze soon.